Where are you? Oh where are you.. March 27, 2010

Where are you, oh where are you?

I am gasping for air, these images in my head are drowning me.

it is getting really late and still no sign.

Whisper slowly and shoo these gross thoughts from my head – they are trying to consume me.

I cant sleep, i can’t eat..oh my!  i cant think.

Don’t do this to me i implore you.

Did i just have the last chance to speak from my soul and tell you how much i loved you and didn’t?

I will tell you i love you in a million ways..

I will speak Spanish, French, Malaysian, Japanese, Idoma..you name it…

I will speak to you from fibers in my being you never knew existed..

I will hold you in an embrace like u never knew before..

and then i will kiss you gently just a few millimeters short of your lips!

Only… just you come back. Okay?

It dont matter what decisions you have taken, i just want you to be okay.

I forbid you to get hurt.

I forbid you to get in trouble!

My Lion is out of it’s cage but it doesn’t know where to go pick it’s cub from.

Such character and beauty combined in one person can never be equaled.

I don’t want the world, i want you.

Come back in good health and still be mine.

Someone Please Explain these things… March 4, 2010

1. “Hey! Hey! are you still sleeping?? ..what did you say?   Hellooo?  i just want to know if you are still sleeping so i can leave quietly and come back when you are awake”
2. “I am afraid but i will have to make you leave this premises”
3. “With all due respect i think you are an asshole.”
4. How people say “bless you” or “live long” when you sneeze and infest the air with your bacteria…but when you fart you are regarded with scorn.
5. No president since the beginning of history has been known to keep all of their pre-electoral promises ..why then do people still vote? (actually i am more concerned why contesting politicians still make promises at all).
6. “It’s not you it’s me”
7. “You have the right to remain silent (some secret) because everything you say or do can be used as evidence against you in the court of law.
8. why “The big bang” can’t be explained but God should.
9. Excuse me Mister!..yea you right there! i asked if i could help you?!
10. Why it is 100 times easier to make a point when you die for it.
    

IF YOU MUST KNOW (Get your dictionary:P)… March 4, 2010

I know it has been a while since I updated my blog, I have been pretty occupied  ever since the end of the “happy holidays”; Occupied with a host of things that just won’t wait….things that if left unattended, would blossom into larger time-consuming activities on my to do list. Activities that I always try to resolve as they turn up, in other to avoid having to cross-check my imaginary list all the time.

Whenever I try to review activities that have been battling for my time since my last blog, it gets my hair plaiting! Really! I remember sitting a friend down the other day and narrating a couple of events going on in my life to him…as he got up to leave lo! he had grown thick whitish dreads! I realized sitting friends down and turning them into bloodclaating Rastafarians would eventually lead to me losing all my close acquaintances. That was when i thought of telling my story to distant friends…. I thought about my blog! (oops did I just say that aloud?)…. What? Jamaicans could be reading as well…. {yes na!}

Anomalistic tendencies, fueled in a stupendous magnitude by a subtle but adequately puissant cupidity has unequivocally contributed to my long delay in keeping my blog abreast. I appreciate your allegiance. My journey from the time I wrote my last blog has been one directly from the height of extreme lackadaisicalness to this assiduous train of activities that so happen to ambush me every damn day!

No doubt I could have systematically eluded every such stint that vied for my time, the problem was each was as remunerative and as requitable as they get. Without any cantankerousness I was adeptly inclined to blot out all possible aberrations and camouflaged brouhaha in spite of how tantalizingly titillating or commodiously inveigling a bait they may cast in my sluice. This isn’t about Circumlocution or some freakish esoteric batrachomyomachy with words I assure u, my plight has really been one of an incontrovertibly brobdingnagian grandeur!

Finally, as an antidote to the possible superfluously kindled abibliophobia of my ardent readers, I idiosyncratically arrived at a conjecture, to indubitably keep your profoundly valued interest incessantly fomented. I gotta round up this post because i gotta hit the sack right now…some people consider sleep to be some form of leisure, or pleasurable rest. For me it is something else. Especially after spending days running back home and into bed to catch some sleep or rounding up things as minute as thinking so i can sleep, for me, MY SLEEP IS A JOB! a very influential one at that; boldly occupying a place on my to do list as the “chief of things that just wont wait”.

Hmmmmmmm does that mean i have been sleeping away time since my last blog? [Things People Dont Talk About-- remember? ]

UNNECESSARY LAUGHS. (dont you just hate them?) December 23, 2009

Don’t you just die a little on the inside every time you come across a bunch of  people trying to amuse themselves from the lamest statement ever made since the creation of mankind?

It may be hard, but i could try to understand when people have to laugh as a sign of respect or admiration for someone, maybe for an older person, a loved one, for self-satisfaction, as an insult or for a person of some form of high authority with favour-granting capabilities as the case may be. Other than these, i cant seem to understand why some people burst into hearty laughs whenever a statement as lame as a banana peel is made.

It sickens me every time i mistakenly find myself in a small group of people, and just like the other day, some guy walks up to join the group and as he arrives he says,  “if this cold doesn’t kill me, nothing else would”  Okay i can understand that this is a little on the funny side, and it was a creative approach for a self- introduction, but common now, i would say such a comment deserves a smile, a giggle at most, but i can remember how a couple of boys bursted out laughing, jouncing their shoulders uncontrollably in their laugh as their eyes searched the rest of the gang , looking for approval.

I know i could get sarcastic at times, but common now, why laugh when nothing at all is funny? Do you laugh just because you can? I know of places where a laugh that is uncalled-for can get you killed.It is easy to see why many popular people complain of not having trustworthy friends, because they are always surrounded by fakes who would laugh at a sneeze just to keep their jobs.

I have a very interesting neighbour, he is a good friend of mine, the type of good friend you pray for others to have too so you dont have to suffer alone. He is a little strange,  one among the many strange friends i happen to have.The other day he walked into my room for the third time after i had politely told him i would pay him a visit as soon as i put things in order in my room. The truth was i just wanted to sleep a little; i was only being polite. Politeness is the father of all actings in the real world! Anyway, when the door opened for the third time and he walked into the room ,  pacing slowly as he always did, i told him

“Hey buddy i understand you are bored, but the simple truth is i want to sleep right now! and i cant do so with you bursting in every second!”  A little cruel i must admit but what does a fellow have to do to get a little sleep? was there a form i had to fill and stamp before i could sleep? I had barely finished speaking when he bursted out laughing.

At first i thought it was just a laugh to lighten up the situation, but i was wrong. He laughed a little louder, and way longer than as for sanity. Then he walked over to me as i lay in my bed with my head jutting out, he patted me on the shoulder and said “Man you are very funny, you are the man, you are really the man” what man is he talking about? Then he sat down comfortably on the chair right in front of me, stretched his entire body and repeated, “mennn I’m so bored, shit! I don’t know what to do” He tactfully avoided my eyes all the time. I could see he was doing all he could to avoid reading the expression on my face which was a single question. “Is this guy for real?”

Many of us often get into situations in which we are tempted to laugh as a sign of courtesy to others, some of us build a hobby out of it, and others just deem it fit in order to go with that legendary flow of old, and not to stand out as being the odd one in the crowd. To all of these people i say “it is a free world and we each have our right to laugh; (the right to be fake as it should be written down in the constitution)- so carry-on”, but to those who make a job out of it, especially those who intentionally look for me, just to make me a spectator of this silly act,…I have got a plea for you: “Please! Please! don’t make me go to jail”.

The Day I Died! (A taste of the after life) – true story December 23, 2009

It’s been a while since i wrote anything on this blog, i have been having a hard time finding the right time what irony huh? Anyway i decided to share another experience i have had earlier this year in February- on the 18th to be precise.

Many of you have heard what they say; that when you die in a dream without waking up at that very instance of dying, you would actually die in your sleep. Well i am living proof that all of that is total bull, and this is the first dream i ever had in which i did not wake up in the very second i died. I had just hurriedly gulped down a meal, and all i wanted to do was rest for a minute or two in my bed before dashing out to the grocery store when i fell asleep. This is the dream just as i remember it..

I could remember having a  resolution at the back of my mind; a resolution never to commit another crime. I had already committed murder in the past and i was very conscious of this fact. I kept on reciting to myself “this must not happen again”. It was while i was reaffirming myself of my resolution that i committed a second murder that cost me my life!

I don’t know how it happened or why i did it, but suddenly i found myself standing in a room with blood on my hands! There was blood on the wall and on the furniture too. (It was a scary dream i must admit) Lying on the ground in front of me were two lifeless bodies. A woman who looked like she was in her early forties, and a younger girl in her twenties. I remember standing there overwhelmed with enormous guilt, actually i was feeling like i had been set up, because i could not recall how or why i had just broken my strongest resolution. While i was engrossed in my self-loathing and contrition, a man walked into the room! I was to find out later that the woman was his wife, and the girl was his secret concubine. I was terrified beyond words but i remained surprisingly calm on the outside.

The man was breathing heavily as he moved from one body to another inspecting with disbelieve, then he raised his head and looked at me. I was quick, i raised my hand signaled to him not to say a word, i told him i had something to say. I told him he had two options, to either let me walk  pass him and through the door and out just in time before the cops came, or he could go into the inner room, there was a loaded gun under the book shelve, he could bring it and shoot me in the head, because either way i didn’t care.

Without saying a word , this man rushed into the room and in a second he was back with the gun. I walked up to the wall and stood with my back to him, i remember thinking this man was about to relieve my of my immense guilt.

I heard the sound of the first shot followed by a very little sting at the back of my head, then i realized i was on the ground. I was not feeling any pain at all. I tried not to look around the room so as not to see what may look like brain particles. I could barely see him walk towards me through the mesh of blood and hair that shielded my eyes. He walked up to me, raised the gun a second time, and i heard the second sound of gunshot as he squeezed the trigger.

Then came the most interesting part; there was a break in transmission. The earth seemed to have stopped spinning because as i reopened my eyes, i was standing in the middle of the road, i was naked! The air seemed so pure like it was  solely composed of oxygen. I didn’t feel a pain, not even the pressure beneath my feet as i walked. I could see things as clearly as in a picture. I could see there were a couple of other naked people walking among some clothed ones.The naked ones could see the ones with clothes on, but somehow the clothed ones could not see the naked ones. It dawned on me that i was still on earth, and the clothed ones were the living – i was dead!!

I walked without any idea of where i was going to. I came upon a young naked boy, he was looking very confused and scared. I told him not to be frightened that he was dead. I saw a small group was gradually being formed as the nakeds (as I’d call them) moved closer to one another in their quest for meaning. I grabbed the boy’s hand and we walked to join the crew. I could see there were all types of nakeds. some had their hair-do in a rocker style, there were a couple of tattooed skin-heads..i checked my afro to make sure it was intact- it was.

One of the guys had a phone and i suggested to the crew that we try calling anyone . We tried, but no network signal could be read on any of the phones. We only succeeded in picking up some strange radio signals. When we ran out of things to do, we just stood around and waited. it was about 12 o’clock in the afternoon.

It was not long before a very fat black man came walking up the street in our direction, he was wearing a bright green shirt, he walked in a very unique manner exuding pride and authority. We wondered if this man could see us – he could. With the same authority he beckoned on all of us to follow him and we obeyed. I looked around and realized we were a group of  boys within the age range of 16 to about 28yrs.

As we followed this sinister looking man, one of the guys asked him “You look so sad, is everything alright?” to which the man replied  “should i have a reason to be happy” I didn’t know what to feel, i couldn’t feel anything anyway otherwise i would have panicked.

A little further along the road and this man brought out a cigarette, offered one to a guy beside me who rejected with a smile saying he did not smoke. Another guy in the group asked to be given the cigarette….that was the last thing i remember in the dream..i never got to find out where we were walking to, or who the fat bastard was, but what ever it was i ain’t curious anymore.

I remember looking directly at the face of a friend of mine “Italian” (as we nicknamed him) as he shook me vigorously in an attempt to wake me up, and when my eyes were fully open, he said “Newton! mai mergi la Kaufland ? e opt ceasul!” I examined him – he was clothed! It was all i could do not to give him a hug. I was glad to be alive again. I pulled my laptop closer opened up a note pad and wrote down every detail of the dream i had just had least i forgot.

CHRISTMAS December 20, 2009

Christmas is here again,

The merriest celebration the world knows.

It leaves it’s effects in the air – unspoken.

The Christmas thing.

The Joy and laughter it brings, who can deny?

Families find oneness.

Enemies are overcome with guilt and contrition.

Everyone is talking about the bearded man escorted by Rudolph.

Kids are beyond ecstatic.

This empyreal birth that happened over 2000 years ago

Has got to be the best thing the world has seen yet.

Few know what Christmas is about,

Others acknowledge but fail to celebrate it,

Just as a few opportunists make a penny or two out of the Noel Season.

Nonetheless non can deny the joy it brings.

It is real and it is here again.

It comes just once a year.

Celebration, Recollection,  Praise and a thought for Auld Lang Syne is the agenda.

It is – o yea CHRISTMAS!

SCHOOL VIOLENCE (at the mercy of alcohol) – A true-life story December 20, 2009

This memory just came back to me a short while ago after I gulped down a can of beer, and I decided I must share it with you all.

It was my last month in Junior-High – JSS as it is called in my city. I was staying in a dormitory as was mandatory at the time for final year pupils. At the time I had a School-father as we call them , It was something that was in vogue at the time, all junior pupils had to have a school-father who was always a student in his final year in high school. The school father was meant to be like a protector who would guard the interest of his school-son  through all activities and in return, the school fathers always had a free access to what ever goodies their school-sons had in their food cabinets and we always got them what ever they desired from the supermarkets even at odd hours. My school-father was Iron.

Iron was his nickname, I realise now I never really got to know his real name, how I met Iron  or how he found me was that, he was interested in dating one of my sisters and he made every effort to establish some form of bound with me – although it never worked out for him. All the same, my School-Father he was, and besides the fact that he was always chasing after girls who took delight in breaking hearts, he was also a drunk.

I remember now vividly this very incidence, it was 1am in the morning, I was in my room in the dormitory , three of my roommates and I were playing a game of cards on the bed, and the fourth roommate was sound asleep as he had complained earlier of having a headache. Well, while we were having a nice time shuffling our  cards around, the door flung open with such force that we all shivered  in synchrony, and Iron staggered in.

The first thought that came to my mind was “O my God, not now!” he searched around for me, I could see his eyes were blood-red; I was a little scared but not as much as my room mates.

He beckoned for me to come, he was still standing at the doorpost. He had a very confident and content look on his face. I jumped out of the bed and ran to him, because I knew what punishment a junior could get for waiting for a second call.

As I got to him he put his fat hand on my shoulders- Iron was a very fat boy, and asked “Newton why? ” I immediately knew he had got his heart broken again. He continued in a very loud voice

“For why” as was a slang used in my school at the time to imply “why”;

“Newton why? Eh? For why? For why? Arrhh…..”  the stench of alcohol was so stong it was all I could do to stay so close to him .

“Newton look at me…. I say look the fuck at me” and he took a little spin examining himself, his head hung at an angle implying supremacy.  “Look at me …for why?! For why?! for why?! Me? Iron ? Iron Baba? Ewwww!”

At this time I didn’t really know what to do, I decided I had to say something fast if I was to get rid of him and so I tried out some comforting words on him..

“Iron don’t worry about her mannn,” I said “she is a bitch, a whore” what else was there to say? “go loose some weight” did not sound like a smart phrase at the time.

Surprisingly he kept quite all the time I spoke, his gaze was fixed on the floor right in front of him. A part of me wished we didn’t have to go through this ordeal with the door wide open. I could feel the excitement building up on adjacent rooms as other juniors scrambled as close to their windows as possible.  Of course non of them was bold enough to come out of their room at that time.

After I had spoken, Iron kept looking at the floor for a seemingly endless time. Then sharply he raised his head , looked at the wall above him, glanced at me- he looked evil, he shifted his stare sharply out the door and the next second his head was down again, but this time he was smiling. Just as I was about to remember to breath, he raised his head again and planted this stare directly on my face, he looked at me for a complete eternity without saying anything and I was frightened beyond words. All the time I was  looking back at him nodding like to say “It’s okay hommie , it is okay”, but I didn’t utter a word . Finally he spoke again…more like a bark this time.

“For why?! For whyyy!!!? Newton!”

“yes” I muttered. This is where the drama really started.

Iron continued “am I a beast?”

“No” I hurriedly replied. He continued

“then why? For why” he stared at me for a short while, looked down at my mouth and said

“say for why” I can never forget the feeling I had at this time.

“For why” I muttered

He repeated “For why” and I followed “for why” then he barked at me…

“don’t you see how I am moving my hands? move yours in the same way idiot!”

I imitated his hand movement , moving my right hand to the right of my body with my palms opened and facing upwards, as I said “for why”

He shouted “again” and I acted the “for why” again

Then one of my roommates giggled! It was small and I hoped fervently Iron hadn’t heard it – he had.

He looked towards the beds and shouted:

“all of you assholes get down here now!! Who is sleeping there? Wake him up quickly”

At this time I wished another senior would stop by and save our night- no one did.

All of my roommates came as they were told even Simon who had been asleep had to wake up and he came with the rest.

Iron made all four of us stay with our backs to the wall, our right feet placed a little bit further than the left one and he made us perfom a “For why” – choreography.

Whenever he yelled “for why”, all four of us repeated “For Why” moving our right hands in synchrony; as was this very annoying choreography. I looked at the time it was a couple of minutes after 2am. “My God” I thought.

After we had choreographed a couple of times I could see from his expression he was feeling a little better. After we shouted “for why” for about the 10th time, he said

“Idiots all of you! Newton even you too, you are their leader, and your sister is not any different, am I right”

I replied “yes”

Then he stared at us for a few more seconds with disdain and said

“everyone on your knees and face the wall!”. This was the common form of punishment in my school at the time.

We did as we were commanded. I was worried he was going to get a cane and flog each of us on the ass, but he didn’t.

While we were kneeling down with our backs to him, he walked out silently and was gone. Everyone got up and we began to speak.  Somehow two of my roommates were laughing their heads off, Simon was pissed beyond words…me, I was feeling so guilty but I was a little happy it was all over….a little?!  What am I saying!

Newton Why? December 19, 2009

Have you ever spent 2 full hours watching a particular shitty movie, and at the end of it, all you wanted to do, was just kill yourself ? I have! Many times! Those are the type of movies I call “Newton why?” like why did I do it again? Another potentially productive 2 hours foolishly thrown away.

How some movie directors think up certain movies is just beyond me! I ain’t calling names but I know you too must have seen a few that fit this group.

Just yesterday I watched this movie, it was a complete 3-hour movie and it is a miracle I am still sane, because after the film ended, I spent another 10 minutes watching the blank screen, with my shoulders down in disdainment, and my thoughts were best described in 7 letters -”urrgghh”!  Funny how those 10 minutes were actually the most interesting part of the movie.

From the start of the movie right up to the second when the first name of the cast came up I was engrossed in deep concentration; expecting and hoping for the actual movie plot to start. Saying to myself “this just can’t be all the idea this Director had in mind”. This was how I was able to sit through those complete 3 hours  – in faith.

I know I would direct some movies some day, but until then, all I can do after i watch such films is listen to  Jessy’s song “I’ll get over you” because this very song makes those hours seem well spent.

 

 

My 30 Favourite Quotes and Sayings of all times. December 19, 2009

1. “NEVER GET TOO SERIOUS WITH LIFE, BECAUSE YOU WILL NEVER COME OUT OF IT ALIVE!”  (I wonder if getting down in history doesn’t count for anything ? )
2. “THE PATIENT DOG EATS THE FATTEST BONE.” (How do you decide when the fattest bone has arrived?  I wonder if there is a penalty for the over patient dog?!-like “hey no more bones!!” And what if the damn dog ain’t damn hungry and only needs a little bone this damn time around? and only god knows what happens when we have two patient dogs! Rubbish!)
3. “PATIENCE IS AN ATTRIBUTE YOU ADMIRE IN THE DRIVER IN FRONT OF YOU AND SCORN IN THE ONE BEHIND YOU.” (True talk!).
4. “YOU ARE WHAT YOU READ.” (and if you can’t read,  you are just an illusion, you may think you exist but you don’t really exist…right?)
5. “DON’T CRITICIZE OTHERS, THEY ARE JUST WHAT WE WOULD HAVE BEEN UNDER SIMILAR CIRCUMSTANCES” (well that’s normal, and they would be the one to criticize when the tables are switched…this quote is senseless!)
6. “THERE IS A NAME FOR PEOPLE WHO DO NOT TAKE PRIDE IN WHAT THEY DO.–UNEMPLOYED” (if only it was that easy and bills got paid that way too)
7. “SMALL MINDS DISCUSS EVENTS, MIDDLE MINDS DISCUSS PEOPLE, BUT GREAT MINDS DISCUSS IDEAS.” (I like this one )
8. “NOTHING MORE IMPORTANT THAN STAYING ALIVE” – Tupac  Shakur (no comment)
9. “ANY LAMB THAT TRIES TO ACT AND SOUND LIKE A WOLF, SHOULD ALSO BE READY AT ANY TIME TO RECEIVE THE HUNTERS ARROW” (Well of course).
10. “WE ARE DESIGNED WITH TWO EARS AND ONE MOUTH SO THAT WE CAN LISTEN MORE AND SPEAK LESS” (if only everyone knew this :-< )
11. “HE THAT FAILS TO PLAN HAS PLANNED TO FAIL”  (this guy must be so against “go-with-the-flow” spontaneity must be like an omen to him)
12. “OLD MEN THINK YOUNG MEN ARE FOOLS – INEXPERIENCED FOOLS, YOUNG MEN THINK OLD MEN ARE FOOLS – OUTDATED FOOLS” (hmmm…really I don’t see what all the fuss in distinction is all about then?!!!!! So we are all fools; end of story!..can I go now? )
13. “A MAN CAN MAKE A HOUSE, BUT A WOMAN MAKES A HOME” (so true).
14. “FAILURE IS NEVER FATAL UNLESS YOU GIVE UP, AND SUCCESS IS NOT THE END OF THE ROAD, BUT ANOTHER WAY TO TRAVEL”. ( this does not really sound encouraging as it was intended to after all )
15. “IT IS BETTER TO BE HATED FOR WHO YOU ARE THAN TO BE LOVED FOR WHO YOU ARE NOT” (Hitler must have read this every morning when he got up)
16. “KNOW  AND UNDERSTAND YOUR LIMITS SO THAT YOU CAN IGNORE THEM” (o yea..leap out your balcony)
17. “A LIE IS NEVER ABLE TO STAND ON ITS OWN, IT HAS TO BE SUPPORTED BY ANOTHER BIGGER LIE”. (lol frightening but true)
18. “BIRDS ARE UNABLE TO FLY WHEN IMMERSED IN WATER; THE DUCK SLEEPS ON WATER!” (a word is enough for the wise)
19. “THEREFORE GO FORTH! YE DISORGANISED AND UNKEPT AND LEARN FROM THE ANTS”-the bible
20. “MATURITY COMES WITH EXPERIENCE, NOT WITH AGE”. (true.. but then experience too comes with time)
21. “THERE IS NO POINT IN CRYING OVER SPILT MILK” (I say there is a point crying in front of the milk provider)
22. “THE CHILD THAT IS CARRIED ON THE BACK DOES NOT KNOW THE LENGTH OF THE JOURNEY” (well said)
23. “WHO CAN BE MORE DECEITFUL THAN THE DEVIL -WHO MAKES PEOPLE NOT TO BELIEVE IN GOD, IN WHOM HE HIMSELF BELIEVES ” (no one)
24. “DEATH HAS TO BE EASY BECAUSE LIFE IS HARD”- 50 cent (this dude always hits the nail on the head)
25. “A BIRD IN THE HAND IS WORTH TWO IN THE BUSH” (hmmm funny I read this  one any Saturday night I don’t go out )
26. “THE BEST WAY TO CONQUER AN ENEMY IS TO SHOW HIM LOVE”. (True)
27. “DON’T TELL ME ABOUT OTHERS, BECAUSE YOU WOULD DEFINITELY TELL OTHERS ABOUT ME”. (even though I could care less)
28. “NO TIME IS WASTED IF YOU MAKE 99 ATTEMPTS TO ACHIEVE SOMETHING AND FAIL, BECAUSE NOW YOU KNOW 99 WAYS OF HOW NOT TO GET THAT THING DONE”. (word!)
29. “WHEN A DOG IS PLAYING WITH ITS MASTER, IT SEEMS AS IF THE DOG HAS NO TEETH”. (tell them let them learn)
30. “ONLY A TRUE FRIEND WOULD TELL YOU WHEN YOUR FACE IS DIRTY AND HELP YOU WITH IT” (well there is more to this one…like a stranger, a family member, a lying enemy?! )
31. “IT IS A 100 TIMES EASIER TO BE STUPID AND CARELESS..IT TAKES MORE THAN STRENGTH IN A PERSON  TO BE OTHERWISE” (I made this one up :>    and it is so true that it hurts )

What is it About Cigarettes? December 18, 2009

 

Five days ago i had lunch at a pizzeria  situated just a few blocks away from my school, while i was munching away on my favourite Pizza Maryland, wondering how i ended up coming out for another meal alone, three kids – two guys and a girl walked into the non smoking part of the eatery in which i was sitting, from the look of them, i could tell they were high school kids, possibly just out of a class on a break or something. The eldest of them all couldn’t have been more than 18 years of age and the girl who was obviously the youngest, looked like a 15-year-old. well, they picked a table just in front of mine and without looking through the menu that was lying on the table, one of the guys pulled out a blue packet of Pall Mall cigarettes and like some form of silent ritual, they each took turns in pulling out a stick and lighting up.

At first i thought they had not seen the “Fumatul Interzis” sign (meaning no-smoking section) visibly posted on the wall right next to the door but as i would find out later these youngsters knew just exactly what they were doing; same way as they knew about the tobacco they were now converting into smoke, adding unwanted flavour to my meal. A part of me wondered if this indifference they exhibited was the same character in play as they seemed not to have read the warning boldly written beneath the brand name on the cigarette packet; “Smoking Kills BEWARE!”.  I was not really bothered about the smoke, it wasn’t like i had a choice or something;  considering the degree to which non smokers are exposed to cigarette smokes in my area on a daily basis, the only way to avoid inhaling the smoke would be to stay indoors all day, and get nothing  done all day so you can become nothing in life!

I was beyond fascinated as i always am whenever i watch any group of people pulling on their cigarettes as they take that much craved delight in deciding after which word to pull  on a cigarette. The girl was the most exciting of the trio to watch. She had the cigarette in her right hand which was placed elbow-down on the table and she held the cigarette so high up, a little above her eyes like she was trying to shield out her face, i could see her blinking painfully from time to time as obviously she was getting the fumes in her eyes as well. I said to myself  “this can’t be fun, trying to look cool can not be the only motive in play here, and this certainly isn’t just madness…there must be more to it, i gotta  keep watching!” After all what could be more interesting than watching a group of youngsters with everything in the world to live for, sitting down on a table in an expensive pizzeria having an uncomfortable meal of  cancer chatting away about other things which somehow seemed to be of more concern to them!

I don’t believe there is a cigarette smoker i have met that I haven’t asked in what way he or she got the thrills from the cigarette, and every time i get the same annoying  reply, ” i just feel comfortable doing it”. Well, over time i have come to realise that this comfortability has got a far more intricate meaning that the one you would get from a normal Oxford English Dictionary. First of all, it is a comfortability that is uncompromisable in the sense that, it must be satisfied without much reason or thought..more like something supernatural that must be accepted not understood. This comfortability right here is a ritual that above all other  things makes a person to appear cool, mysterious, eloquent and independent but shhhh!! no one is telling these ..it is that which is not to be spoken. I have a friend or two who could bet on their lives that cigarettes have gotten them laid in the past. This comfortability that shortens the normal life span, blackens the lungs and lips, destroys the lungs and obviously was making this young girl secrete painful tear drops  must be the most incredible thing in the world, because the young girl had lit a  second cigarette in the time it took me to think these things over!

At about that time, a guy in his mid-thirties  who I immediately recognized as an employee- a doorman in that eatery opened the door; “Finally!” I said to myself  “someone to show these interesting trio that it was mandatory to read and obey signs, especially those that restrict smoking in public areas” At this time I was at the end of my meal when he walked over to one of the guys on the table and even though he said it in a whisper I could still hear and decipher what he had just said. He had asked to be given a lighter!. “Hello?!?!” – I was thinking aloud. The kid gave him a small silver coloured pocket lighter and asked the man to keep it. To which the man gave a nod  and walked away. Me, I was having a nice time ; since inhaling little amounts of cancer is universally accepted as having a nice time , but It was time for me to go. I had to go and get my clothes from the dry cleaners before they closed down for the day and I had just about 15 minutes left to do this.

In a haste I stood up, scurried past the three lunatics , out of the room into the smokers section and straight up to the bar  where I asked an elegant looking girl behind the counter to write out my bill. She did , I paid up and scurried towards the door, as I got to the door the same doorman I had seen earlier opened up the door for me with a smile…I tried to smile back with a nod of course, but as I went out I realised he came after me, asking me to stop for a short while that he has something he wanted to tell me. He looked a little desperate and I immediately thought I had done something wrong. I stopped  turned around and waited. He came up to me, put his hands on my shoulders – a gesture I don’t really like from strangers, and said in Romanian language ” My friend have u got some weed to sell? Any quantity would do, it doesn’t matter how much I will pay you”!  He was grinning while he spoke, I could see he had two of his teeth exchanged for gold ones.  I just wondered how those gold teeth would look like in my box of collectibles if i plucked them out with my right fist.